i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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