Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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