Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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