Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize