Someone shit on the floor
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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