How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
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