I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Soap is not a condiment
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
