since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
