he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
