how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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