Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
