U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
