you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I deserve this hangover.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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