okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
