i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
