I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
