well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
