I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
