When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
