Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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