Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
