So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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