i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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