Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
