We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
