I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
