You work out of a Hotel?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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