how can u be prego again
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
