We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
