Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
