so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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