it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
