i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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