At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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