Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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