If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
