i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
