I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
