thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
