is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
