I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
