i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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