Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
