An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
