apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
