I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
