He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
