Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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