Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ketchup is God's man juice
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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