You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
