I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
