Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
be right there i have to get my cape
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
